Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Here I am..the newest blogger

Well here it goes...my first internet blog. I really wondered what I was gonna say in this....so bare with me. Thanks JA for your technical blog assistance! I'm a 21 year old college senior stuck in what has proven to be a somewhat small conservative Kansas town, but I'm making the best of it...i mean after all, I probably appear to be "one of them" lol
Here's a phrase I have found myself saying A Lot lately....I always thought I was a normal, average kid! Well here's something that you probably don't know about me....it was my deepest darkest secret....but here it goes. I just admitted to myself about 3 weeks ago that I am gay...yes you heard me...gay. I inexplicably felt compelled to come out to one of my good friends who has been out for several years now. You can't believe how much this has helped me. Years of denying a part of who you are really takes its toll on you. JA thanks for being there when I needed you...I love you buddy! This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with...as I said earlier I was blessed with a very nice and smooth running life all along until recently when said roadblock has sent my life on a divergent path. I can only hope this new path will lead me to something good in my life...someday. I as of last weekend came out to K, one of my best friends. I was even more scared this time around because he is straight as an arrow and I was so worried he would disapprove of me and my choices and never want to talk to me ever again. To say the three little words I am gay takes so much courage...but I somehow eeked them out. K was so supportive of me that my jaw almost dropped....and yes there were a lot of tears lol. Next step....now I have to tell best friend number 2....part of me is worried, but the rational part tells me he will probably be accepting. This is such a process....some days I feel good about things but then others I feel like my former self has passed away and that I really don't have much of an identity anymore. I"m really trying not to be a downer though :)
Thanks for listening to a piece of my somewhat ordinary yet confusing life!

4 comments:

Josh said...

Great to see that you're online! You'll do great! Welcome to the blogger community!!!

~Josh

emily said...

Hey new blogger.

I'm glad for you. Good luck telling best friend number 2.

My name is Emily. Hello!

Danny said...

Hey Emily, thanks for the support! It's also good to see that someone is reading this :)

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